The UK has a long tradition of inventing things. Ploughs, steam engines, light bulbs. Computers, folding pushchairs, Mars Bars. Telescopes, Quorn, antibiotics. Clever British people have helped us work, rest and play for centuries. But people of the 22nd century will laugh at our backward ways. We could minimise future embarrassment by sorting out the following things:
1. A proper method of keeping pedestrians dry. Why are cars the only means of protecting children from downpours on their way to school? Is it because most coats don’t keep people dry? Umbrellas are a failure every time it’s windy, which is often when it’s , err, raining. Our climate is going to become more unsettled – let’s keep dry as well as calm.
2. Hearing aids that actually work (Rory Stewart was right).
3. Ditto with toilets. (I’m not sure of Rory’s opinion on this.) Toilets have one purpose and they are frequently umm, crap at it.
4. A gadget that would prevent anyone getting close to you so that people could feel safe late at night or walking in remote areas. In the year 2018-2019 nearly a third of women (32%) and 13% of men said that they feel scared to walk alone after dark in their local area .[i] Imagine if everyone could wear something that would effectively render them untouchable, it would transform the lives of thousands of people. I have no idea how it could work but then I have no idea of how computers work and here I am typing on one.
5. A walking invention to support people whose mobility is affected by their legs as an alternative to using a wheelchair. Possibly a bit like Wallace’s Wrong Trousers.
6. Innovative ways to rescue people from burning buildings or to keep them alive inside while the fire is extinguished. Surely there must be more innovative ways of protecting people from building fires that extends beyond simply walking them outside.
7. Commuter vehicles that aren’t conventional cars! See my other piece here.
8. New ground cover for verges that isn’t grass. Grass is a plant that wants to be about 60cm high when we want it to be 5cm. This results in a perpetual fight between the plants and the council that have to spend money cutting it. This is madness. We need to be covering our verges in naturally low growing wildlife friendly plants that don’t require machinery to come and cut them every few weeks. Or breed some highly trainable micro-pigs to graze them… Personally I prefer the latter option.
Are my ideas hot shot or crack pot? Do you have any ideas of your own? Comment below.
[i] https://www.citystgeorges.ac.uk/news-and-events/news/2021/04/survey-shows-32-of-british-women-dont-feel-safe-walking-alone-at-night-compared-to-just-13-of-men
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